Thursday, March 31, 2011

That Proxies Post Thing That I Promised


Yeah, okay, I was going to post this thing about proxies and then I got busy and stressed and that stuff and now I’m resorting to sugar and caffeine to make me happy so yeah!  I’m only half coherent!  Yeah!

But right.  Proxies.  The ones in Chicago were a bit different.  They seemed more like your “traditional” proxies.  You know, the ones that are like “we loves the Master and has no sense of self!”  They act like Agents (those dudes who follow the Slender Man of their own free will because they were batshit fucking insane in the first place), only they’ve clearly been forced to do that.  The ones I’ve dealt with, for the most part, have been different.  They’re more random normal people that he randomly…I dunno, possesses, almost?  He uses them like puppets, causing them to become aggressive and feral for a bit of time.

So what’s the difference?  Well, I think it might have to do something with population.  I’m in a relatively small community with a low crime rate.  If someone loses their Marble Hornets and starts killing people, people are gonna start to notice.  So he uses random people for a brief period of time to go unnoticed.  In a big city, however, what’s one more individual?  Especially the homeless.  No one will miss those guys.  I mean, who’s the last homeless guy you know who went missing and you cared about his welfare?  That’s what I thought.  And that’s why so many proxies kind of look like bums.  Because they are.

So in a smaller area, he’ll probably use less conspicuous puppet-like proxies and in a bigger city, he’ll use the hallowed or whatever they’re called.  More or less, the higher the crime rate and the general anonymity climb, the more fully devoid of self the proxies are.  Something like that.

And that was less complicated and postworthy than I thought.  Well, either way, later.  I’ve got a Mountain Dew that’s calling my name.  Maybe if I’m too jittery to be depressed, that tapping on my window will stop.


Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Appy Polly Loggies, O Brothers


I’m…sorry about that last post.  It really ended up in a different place than it started.  Girl (yes, “Girl” is as much of a name as I’m giving you on here…remaining anonymous is probably best for now) called me up after she read the post, then came over.  It was…tough.  I broke down crying in front of her.  Yeah, pathetic, right?  Fucking sobbing.

Let me explain myself a bit more now that I’m in rational mode and not rant mode.  This is…tough for me.  I’ve been putting on a happy face.  I’ve really only mentioned three encounters with him here: my first encounter, that one time I was alone in the dorms, and the encounter in the Labyrinth.  But I’ve seen him way more than three times.  I go to a lot of parties, just trying to enjoy myself and get my mind off of him.  I hang out in crowded places where I know he’s not going to do anything to me.  But that doesn’t mean he’s not there.  No, when I’m sitting on the sofa off in the corner, he’s standing there right behind me, whispering thoughts that I should leave into my consciousness.  When I dress up for a nice occasion (like an awards ceremony, banquet, choir performance or whatever it is I refuse to let you know I do), he’s standing there at the event brainwhispering at me that he’s jealous of my suit.  And every time he’s around now, Hyde comes out, and Hyde wants to walk away from the group or event so that I can spend some quality one-on-one time with the Slender Man.  He’s actually around quite frequently, even moreso after that whole labyrinth thing.

On top of that, I’m still in school.  I know that a lot of you are running.  You’ve lost everything.  And I’m so sorry for that.  But I haven’t lost everything yet.  I’m determined to keep it that way.  And if I run, what does that do?  All I’ve accomplished is needlessly worrying everyone around me.  So if I leave, I hurt them.  If I stay around, there’s a chance they’ll still be safe.  So I have to try my hardest to look like everything’s fine, because if something about me is off, people will get suspicious and start asking.  All of a sudden, no one around me is safe anymore.

So yeah, I’ve got a bit to be stressed about.  I break down sometimes and start writing about the dark miasma of my soul while crying limpid tears of blood.

So yeah, after finding out that I’ve caused the thing I was working so hard to prevent, I guess I just felt that everything I’ve done was all for nothing.  But hey, after I proved to Girl just how much of a pathetic wuss I am, she decided to at least be there for moral support.  Evidently, she doesn’t blame me for this.  Which is stupid, as it is mostly my fault.  But it’s nice to know that I’ve been forgiven.

But yeah, I’m back.  Much less depressed after a rant and a cry.  Tomorrow I’ll get up a post about that proxy thing I mentioned.


“I Told You So” in 3, 2, 1….


Well, she’s back.  And she’s not happy.  Largely because she’s come to the conclusion that I’m right.  She had the whole paranoia thing and whatnot.  Anyway, I ran into her on campus while she was writing something in one of the opens.  I snuck up behind her, looked over her shoulder and burst out laughing.  It was a dickish move, but I just couldn’t help it.  She had been keeping a time journal.  She started blushing pretty badly, then started actually physically attacking me.  And yes, I know you’re still reading the blog.  Guess what?  You hit like a girl.  Yeah, I’m pissing you off, but I don’t even care by this point.

Anyway, I stopped mocking her pretty much as soon as she admitted that she had lost time.  You all know what that means.  All sorts of bad news.  For both of us, unfortunately.  Because now, I can’t just survive on my own.  I have to help some chucklefuck (yes, I’m talking to you) survive, because she’s pretty incapable on her own.

A tall, faceless abomination stalks two ordinary college students!  Now, they’ve got to learn to work together to avoid getting caught…and killed!  But here’s the catch: to protect everyone, they can’t tell anyone what’s going on!  Will they be able to survive?  Will they fail?  And most importantly, how are they going to explain all the time they’ll inevitably spend together to her boyfriend?  Hilarity Ensues in this wild and wacky adventure that I wish was actually wild, wacky, and an adventure instead of a shitty burden of an existence where absolutely anyone I get close to or start to care about has the chance of getting sucked into a horrible and torturous existence just by even fucking being around me!

I fucking hate all this.  I can’t take this anymore.  The first person I start to reach out to in months, and she’s about to be caused unbelievable pain.  Just because I talked with her.  Just because I had a crush on her.  Just because I was stupid enough to try to spend some one-on-one time with another fucking human being.

I hate staying in crowds.  I hate becoming that freak in the corner who doesn’t talk to anyone or the guy who’s just another generic face in the mob.  I hate not being able to talk to interesting people because I’m worried about their well-being.  I hate keeping this secret from everyone.  I hate that the only people I can go to for comfort are people I can’t trust and people who can’t trust me.  I hate being an asshole to turn people off in the hopes that they’ll avoid me.  I hate that I can’t even fucking trust myself anymore.  I hate that all this has been for absofuckinglutely nothing, because now I’ve fucked up someone else’s life.

And I fucking hate that I’m not strong enough to handle all this.  I can’t do this, guys.  I talk big, but I’m no brave warrior like Zeke.  I’m no great leader like zero.  I don’t have the guts to experiment like Ava or Jeff.  Hell, I’m definitely not like M.  I don’t have the resolve to run and keep everyone I care about safe.  I don’t have the courage to keep going, even when things get tough.  I don’t even have the composure to keep a cool head anymore.  And I fucking hate it.  What am I?  The Hermit’s successor?  Please.  When was the last time you saw me do anything remotely helpful like M did?  Even if I do continue to offer advice, it’s tainted by my untrustworthiness.  Am I a great figurehead?  Only 27 followers says otherwise.  Am I a good role model?  Fuck no, I’m a jackass.  Can I make people laugh or keep them upbeat?  Gee, are you reading the same blogpost that I’m writing?  Can I even fucking do anything worthwhile anymore?

Just…just go away.  All of you.  Just unsubscribe or something.  I don’t want to see you.  I don’t want to talk to you.  And I don’t want you guys to see or talk to me.  I thought I could do so much for you all.  And where am I now?  I’ve failed you at every turn.  I’ve failed myself at every term.  Are you guys still looking at me as M’s successor?  Don’t.  He’s not dead.  He’s alive.  Go back to him.  Just go away and fucking leave me alone.

This is the fucking least pleasant “I told you so” ever.


Saturday, March 26, 2011

In Which My Foot Becomes Lodged In My Mouth



So.  Turns out that this girl reads my blog.  What are the fucking odds?  Also, something gives me the impression that I’m in deep shit right now, because she dragged me over to a computer, sat me down, and forced me to write a new post.

Oh, of course.  She’s asking to write.  How stupid of me.  Don’t have to get so pissy about it.  Yes, I know you can read over my shoulder.  Shut up and let me lay the ground rules.

One: No names.  You have to call me Jekyll.  You can’t call anyone else by anything.  We don’t want to put them at risk.  Two: I get to proofread.  I’m sure you’ll understand.  Three: NOTHING THAT GIVES ANY INFORMATION ABOUT WHO WE MIGHT BE OR WHERE WE ARE.  We’re not letting anything slip unless it’s necessary.  Sound fair?  Okay, I’m letting you take the computer now.  Are you happy?

Okay, where to even start?  First of all, you’re telling me that you expect me to be followed by Ol’ Slendy now?  You want to grow up a bit, Jekyll?  Those guys who attacked us were muggers.  He’s not real.  I don’t know whether this is some stupid prank or whether you actually believe all this, but it’s really, really sad either way.

And it’s so hard to type Jekyll instead of your real name.  I mean, I’m having to hit backspace when I write I because you’re making all these stupid paranoid rules about how nobody can no anything, like the smallest bit of information is going to either disprove your story or draw internet stalkers to you.  And I don’t even get a name?  Wow.  Thanks for making a girl feel special.  And why Jekyll?  Why not Hyde?  I mean, you don’t strike me as either of them, so why do I have to choose one or the other?  They’re both dicks, by the way.

Also, you’re Jekyll?  Really?  You’re nothing like Jekyll.  You’re a pretty nice guy in real life.  Jekyll is an asshole.  Showing me this asshole side of yourself?  Not cool.

But I can look past that, since you’re an okay guy.  And we’re pretty good friends.  Here’s the thing though, Jekyll: I have a boyfriend.  How did you miss this?  And good job, putting it on the entire internet to see that “things are going well” with that one girl you think is cute.  I mean, Jesus, at least mention my name.  You’ve completely humiliated me, Jekyll.  So yeah, I’m pretty pissed about that.

I’m getting back at you now.  Fuck you and your proofreading.  I’m just posting this.  I don’t even care that you’re going to be mad, because I don’t want to see you for a while anyway.

Nice post title, by the way.  Guess you didn’t think it would be this accurate.

Thursday, March 24, 2011

Ugh…suppose you deserve to know


Okay.  So.  The situation.  What happened back in Chicago.  I think you all deserve to know.  This is, of course, all paraphrased.

So, I was walking around the streets around a mall or business district or something.  I’m being vague partially on purpose and partially because I’m not too familiar with big cities.  But anyway, I’m not alone, because I’m not an idiot.  Everything about me screams “tourist,” and walking around the streets of Chicago at night isn’t a smart move.  At all.  But yeah, I’m walking around with this girl.  Now, I’ll admit that I’ve got a bit of a crush on her.  I’ve talked to her some.  Enough to consider her a friend, but not enough to really know her too well.  I’d been talking to her, and I think things were going really well.  Damn, she’s such a cute thing, too.  Tiny little thing…I’m not particularly tall, but she only comes up to my shoulder.  So I’m walking around with her, talking, and really enjoying myself.

We’re walking around, and then we stop at Starbucks for coffee.  We walk a bit more, and that’s when she drops the bomb.

She looks down at her coffee, looks back up, turns to me and asks “So, have you ever heard of Marble Hornets?”

Fuck.  Fucking shit fuckity fuck fuck.  Fucking fuck shitting fuck on a piss sandwich mixed with fucking shit.

And of course, only then do I look back and notice the three men following us.  And we’ve wandered off the main street in the area a bit.  I try keeping a level head and work on steering us to better-lit areas.  “Why do you ask?” I ask her.

“Just curious,” she says.  “It’s just a series I really enjoy.”  She’s a film major, incidentally.  “It’s a web series—”

“About this faceless guy called the Slender Man, yeah,” I say, cutting her off.  “Seriously, are you really just curious, or….”  I hear the three guys following us start running at this point, so I grab her arm and take off.  And I panicked so I just started running without thinking, and she had no idea why I was dragging her so she was fighting me, so long story short, we ended up cornered on a dark side street.

Again, fuck.

“Father is not happy with you,” they said, all in unison.  “You’re trying to escape.  He doesn’t like it when you don’t play his game.”

Fucking proxies.  Not the ones I usually deal with.  The ones people call hallowed (stupid term) or whatever.  The mindless drones who’ve given up all identity to the Slender Man.

Well, this girls saves my life.  She’s got mace.  Sprays it in one’s eye, and it somehow pains them all.  They must have been on some sort of hivemind thing.  After all, they were talking in unison.  We take advantage of that, bolt to safer streets, and make our way back.

“What the fuck was that?” she screams at me.  “What the fuck?”

“Oh, you should fucking know, miss ‘have you ever heard of Marble Hornets.’  What the fuck were you thinking?”

And it takes her a second for things to register.  “You can’t be serious,” she says.  Here’s the thing: she was legitimately just asking.  She’s a fan of the mythos, yeah, and she actually knows quite a bit about it.  But it’s still all just some internet thing to her.  She’s not being stalked.

Well.  Chances are that she sure as hell is now.

So the next few posts will be, first of all, a rethinking of my view of proxies, followed by my monitoring of the situation.  I’ve been talking to her some, and I’ve got some background now, so I’ll keep you guys posted.


The Dangers of Personas and Symbols


Aaaaaaaand fucking Hyde goes and decides to blab and cocktease at the same time.

Well, I’m all cocktease, because I’ve still gotta talk to this girl a bit before I let you know what’s going on there.

Instead, I’m going to be talking about something I’ve learned about personas and masks, and the symbols we associate with them.  Remember how I bitch about not being able to eat jerky anymore?  Yeah, I do that a lot, don’t I?  That’s because I can’t see a Slim Jim without thinking of him because you idiots decided to nickname him Slim Jim.  Well, I’m guilty myself now.  Because whenever I hear someone mention Jekyll and Hyde or see those drama masks, I think of Jekyll and, as a result, the Slender Man.

It’s like what A said way back when.  Is he still around?  He was an asshole.  I think I said that before, but it’s worth reiterating.  Anyway, that theory of his that the Operator Symbol’s purpose is to make you think of the Slender Man.  Well, we’re doing that ourselves, accidentally.  Single-lettered names.  Specific names.  I saw a commercial for Chase credit cards and thought of Chase, who evidently follows fucking everything.

So, I suppose what my advice is is to either pick something so common that you don’t associate it primarily with the Slender Man, or to pick something so obscure that you’re never going to see it outside the mythos.

Finally, keep in mind others as well.  Sure, you might associate your own name with you and you only, but who’s to say that anyone else knows, say, an Avalesca.  Nothing against you, Ava, just that you have a pretty unusual name.  I don’t know anyone else with your name.  But let’s say that I meet another Ava.

Where does my mind immediately go?

It’s impossible to avoid completely, and I’m not about to change my name or avatar at this point.  But it’s something that you want to at least have in mind.

Oh, also, Tony?  Just finally managed to catch up with your blog.  You’re kind of an asshole.  I like that.  Bestest buds for life?  Okay, sounds good!


Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Untitled 4


It certainly has been a while, hasn’t it my friends?  But fear not, for I have returned!

While my other half may be a bit reluctant with details, I suppose that I personally could elaborate a bit.  You see, it’s a wonderfully tragic story.  A boy goes to a big city with a group and starts spending some time with a girl he feels some attraction to.  He gets to know her quite well.  Things seem like they may be going well.  And then, when they’re on a walk alone together (because, naturally, you never go off on your own in big cities when you’re a tourist), she says something that completely changes everything.

What did she say?  Well, I’m sure that Jekyll would absolutely love to elaborate on that.  I’m such a tease, aren’t I?

And Morningstar, you seem to assume too much.  You honestly think I could or would kill M?  Oh, my friend, you’re sadly mistaken.  I’m not “one of you.”  You forget that I’m merely a persona.  I may be Hyde, but I’m also still Me.  I have neither the stature nor the stomach to kill anyone.  I’m pacifistic for a reason.  In fact, I think I’d be less inclined to attack someone than Jekyll.  No, nonono, I have great respect for M, and very little respect for people like you.  Jekyll and I merely have irreconcilable views on who exactly Our Mutual Friend is.  I fear Him, yes, but He…intrigues me.  I want to learn more.  He is, in many ways, a beautiful being.  I’d like to see what exactly He plans to do.  What His motives are.  And I believe that, as Hyde, He’ll let me live.  He toys with Jekyll.  Jekyll is conceited and aggressive and needs to be put in his place.  But Hyde?  Hyde is an admirer.  And really, would He kill someone so enthralled so quickly?

Jekyll sees Him as something to be avoided.  I see Him as something to be embraced.

So no, I mean none of you any harm.  I will defend myself it attacked, yes.  But fear not, for I’m not a crazy psychopath.  Merely an alternate persona.  I’m still Me.  You’d do well to remember that.

Tuesday, March 22, 2011



Okay, erm…I’ve got a big problem on my hands now.  I don’t have much time to talk, but I’ll see if I can get the info up at some time in the near future.

A bit of good news/bad news, though.  The problem isn’t due to meeting M.  That’s the good news.  The bad news is that I’m almost definitely not going to be meeting M.  We leave early tomorrow, and I don’t think he’s even checked back on my site to see that I want to meet up.  Guess it wasn’t meant to be.  But hey, who knows?  Maybe he’s even lying about still being in Chicago.  That wouldn’t be too surprising coming from M, would it?  Anything to throw them off.

But yeah, shit’s gone down here in Chicago.  Something that’s impacted me pretty heavily.  I need some time to figure out what’s going on.  And to, um…to talk to a person who’s in some pretty deep shit at the moment.

I dunno.  I’ve got a lot of information from Chicago now that I need to think over, and I’m still on that trip.  It may be a bit before anything gets up.


The Night in the City


You’re right, M.  It really never is dark enough.  Especially compared to what I’m used to.  I come from a small town (yeah, that really narrows down where I’m from, doesn’t it?), so it’s a huge culture shock to go from a place where it’s so dark out every night that you can see the breathtaking stars so clearly to a place where you can literally sit down anywhere on the streets at midnight and have enough light to read a book.

At least it’s not too cold, though.  And I’m around good friends.  It’s been a pretty good trip.  Large crowds, so it’s pretty Slender-free.  And if M’s advice to “get up high” really works (which I doubt it does), then it’d be pretty simple between those two things to at least keep him off your back.

Still, I don’t know how M’s survived there for almost three months.

Yeah.  M’s still apparently here.  Which makes for an amazing opportunity.  I might be able to actually meet him.  Maybe.  Chicago’s still a big city, and neither of us really knows what the other looks like, and I’m assuming neither of us is prepared to leak contact or meeting info on the internet just so we can get in touch with each other.  Guess that’s what happens when you have two overly-cautious people trying to meet up.  Not that M’s agreed to meeting yet, of course.  And I’m fully prepared to accept that he might not agree to meet with me.  After all, he really has no reason to, and my reason is that I get a chance to meet an idol of mine.  Not exactly life-pressing circumstances, huh?

Anyway, It’s like my Mecca here or something.  Everything about Chicago has a sort of reverence to it.  I got to go to the top of the Sears Tower (I guess it’s apparently the Willis Tower now?) today, and I just kept thinking “well, I’ve gotten up high now.”  I got dragged to a Starbucks and had myself a private chuckle when I considered getting a cup of “good fucking coffee.”  And I can see how it’d be able to survive here for a while.  As long as you surround yourself with people, you’re gonna be safe, and in a city, you can probably get up high pretty easily.  It’s not

But…yeah.  I’m hoping it’ll work out to meet with him.  I dunno, if you agree, M, let’s see if we can set up a meeting place.

But anyway, I’ve…learned something recently.  Something worth thinking about.  I’ll update about that when I have the time.

M, if you’re up for a meeting…let’s try to find something out.  I’m here for another day or two.  I hope it works out.  And if not…well, it’s probably for the best.


Friday, March 18, 2011




M is alive.  Fucking M is alive.  Commented on his own blog and on The Mystic on the 10th.

Why the fuck did no one think this was worth mentioning to me?  Oh, wait, I know.  It was because I was trying to break away at the time, wasn’t it?  And you all, like considerate people, purposely didn’t try to remind me because that would pull me back, right?  That’s what I’ll assume, anyway.  Thanks for that.

But yeah…M’s alive.  Maybe not back, and the few pieces of information he did leave don’t say much at all, but he’s alive.

On that note, I’m going on a trip this week with a bunch of other people, and that trip will take me to Chicago at one point.  M’s probably not there anymore, but M, if you’re reading this, let me know.  I’d love to meet up.

Oh, yeah, and, erm…sorry about taking your job and everything.


Friday, March 11, 2011

Thank God for Midterms


Well, I’ve got my midterms coming up.  Which is the best possible thing at the moment.  I really need something to keep my mind off of things, especially with Hyde now.  Hyde may be Slendy’s newest fanboy, but he has to be thinking of him in order to keep him around constantly.  And since I’ve got midterms on my mind, Hyde is being shoved further back into my subconscious.  As is Jekyll.

This isn’t really either of them that you’re talking to.  This is me.  The nameless, faceless anonymous, guy who sometimes pretends he’s a famous literary figure.  The college student who became a bit too big of a fan of the Slender Man Mythos.  The guy who’s more worried about his grades than about a dapper guy who stalks and eviscerates people that doesn’t really exist.  Except that he does.  But I make sure that it’s just Jekyll and Hyde that he exists to.  Not to me.

So I haven’t had time to catch up on blogs, have been trying to distance myself from the blogs anyway, and am keeping preoccupied with other things.  Like coursework.

I know that this won’t be permanent.  It’s not possible to escape it completely.  Robert escaped, and he got pulled back in.  But I’m currently at the point that I can write on this and not get worried.  It’s not real to me at the moment.  It just feel like this is all some story.  And it’s all because I become the Jekyll persona around him.

And now, thanks to that, I’m not to worried for now.  Like I said, I can’t escape completely.  I’ll be back.  But for just a bit…it’s goodbye.

Good luck, everyone.  Hopefully, I’ll be fine.

Well, time to sign off.

But not as Jekyll.  Not as Hyde. 

Just me.

Monday, March 7, 2011

Never Gonna Run Around and Desert You


I have a dilemma now.

I’m a servant of the Slender Man.  Well, kind of.  Not really.  Hyde is.  But which persona serves him is kind of moot at this point.  The point is, I can’t trust myself anymore.  I don’t know if I can trust myself to give you good advice.  I don’t even know if I can trust myself around people.

I went out to the memorial I made for M today.  I just sat there.  I don’t know what do do.  I don’t even know what to fucking do.  What would M have done?  He would have run.  He would have taken off right then and there to protect the people around him.

But I’m not M.  I’m not a runner.  And I’m not about to take off now, just because I’m worried.  He wants to get me alone.  It’s not safe alone.  As soon as I go on the run, he’ll pick me of while I’m helpless.  Even if I can outrun him somehow, like M did…well, there’s a part of me that will keep me from running as hard as I can.  A part of me that will wonder if it’s really worth running.  If he’s really all that bad.

A part of me that will try to turn back.

So I’m not running.  Maybe it’s because I’m too brave to run.  Maybe it’s because I’m too much of a coward.  Either way, I’m staying here.

I really, really hope this is the right choice.


Sunday, March 6, 2011

Untitled 3


A strange thing, memory.  I’m sure that you all recall my lack of recollection in regards to the labyrinth.  But the more time I stay Me, the more clear my memories become.

I left my dearest readers hanging as a fog rolled in.  A fog inside!  Can you even imagine?  Peculiar, is it not?  But then again, considering who it is we speak of, it is not all that surprising.

At this point, I was nearly unconscious.  Fatigue, hunger, and thirst had quite caught up to me.  At first, I was certain I was hallucinating.  First the fog, and then Our Mutual Friend himself.  He emerged from the fog at the end of the hallway, and the only thought I could muster was “why, I’ve gone mad!  Stark raving mad!”

Nevertheless, I prepared to charge.  However, as he approached, I was filled with that pervasive feeling.  That numbing, paralyzing feeling.  That freezing heat and that burning cold.  The whispers.  Oh, those whispers.  Echoing, speaking incomprehensible thoughts into my mind.

And the fear!  Oh, how the fear returned.  And yet, at the same time, I felt a strange comfort in his presence, as if his arrival signified that everything was suddenly right again.  And who knows?  Perhaps it was.

He continued to approach.  The fog obstructed my view of him, and my waning grasp on consciousness made me question what exactly I saw anyway.  I had remembered his motion being awkward and jilted.  Now, it seemed almost elegant and graceful, even…dare I say it?

He looked beautiful.  He moved as a reed in the wind, bending without breaking, gliding along with the flow of the universe.  Perhaps, in our plane of existence, he is freakish.  But here, in his own world, he appeared how he should: as a creature of elegance and beauty.

He came close to me…closer than he had ever been.  I have, actually, seen him perhaps five times.  Four from a distance or within a throng of people or while in other safe havens.  The closest he had been was that first encounter along the running trail through the trees.  But now…now he was even closer.

He stopped when he was right before me.  I had collapsed to the ground by this point, but, using the wall as a brace, I pulled myself up, turning to look directly at him.

He spread his arms welcomingly, as if to say “I mean you no harm.”  They were spread so wide…all the better to embrace me with.  I stood enthralled.  Entranced.

And then, slowly, I spread my arms in return and took a step towards him.

I passed out.  It was not memory loss; I distinctly remember losing consciousness.  When I awoke, I was safe within my own bed.  And, well…I do believe I have already recounted the rest of the tale.  So I suppose that I need not waste your time any longer.

Until next time, my friends.

Friday, March 4, 2011

My Mysterious Case


Well, I’ve been trying to figure some things out with this whole “spit personality” thing, and I’m posting what I’ve figured out so far here.

First of all, I’m Hyde.  Well, no, let me rephrase that.  I’m Jekyll right now.  But I’m both Jekyll and Hyde.  Let me elaborate: Jekyll and Hyde aren’t exactly a split personality.  They’re more like different elements of the subconscious, or different personas.  I’m looking back over the posts that Hyde made, and I’m finding that I can remember making every single one of them.  That’s…not how things should be.  If I’m a proxy, I shouldn’t be able to remember things at all, from all the past instances I’ve seen.  I’m not sure if I am one or not at this point.

See, every post that Hyde makes, I remember posting.  I look over it and say “yeah, I remember writing that.”  I just look back over it after it’s posted and go “what the hell was I thinking when I wrote that?”  It seems less like Jekyll and Hyde are different personalities, and more like they’re different personas. 

Here’s the scary thing.  The Hyde persona doesn’t seem to be one I’m consciously taking on.  It seems like Hyde is a part of my subconscious that’s being pulled out.  I’ve seen him post on a few other blogs, and it’s kind of painful to read, just because I know that I kind of actually think like that. 

He posted on Kaiju’s blog here, and then here, asking (rather agressively) to join NAPPA.  It was a pretty transparent ruse, disgustingly easy to see through.  And when I read it, I can’t help but think that this is me trying to say “I told you so” to him.  It’s no secret that I’ve never trusted organizations, and I’m really not a big advocate of actively engaging proxies.  This is me flaming Kaiju as Hyde, trying to get in to say “hey, look, you accept untrustworthy people into your organization.”  (Speaking of which, I couldn’t catch back up on YggdrasilCore’s blog when I tried pulling myself away for a bit…is he a proxy now or something?  I can’t quite tell)

Also, he posted on White Elephants here.  This is the one that really worries me.  His post on Robert is kind of exactly what I think of the man.  Robert is batshit fucking insane by this point.  I stand by that assertion.  But Hyde’s not putting it in the way I would.  He’s baiting him, speaking in a snarky pretentious “British Gentleman’s” voice, as far as I can tell. 

So think of it like this.  Hyde’s kind of like me, only a troll.  Or if you think that Jekyll’s a troll too, a different kind of troll.  A worse kind.  Because Hyde has an agenda.  I don’t know what it is, yet, but I know that it has something to do with me being broken in the labyrinth.  Jekyll’s still the same guy that you’ve known all this time, but Hyde’s working for the Slender Man.

Oh, incidentally, he let me know what blogs he posted on by writing a note.  My handwriting.  Cursive, like I normally write in.  Only the slant is the opposite direction.  Real fucking clever, Hyde.  Real fucking clever.


Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Oh, FUCK no!



Hey, what I was saying about wanting to involve myself in the community and help out more?  Forget everything I said.  I didn’t post that last update.  Well, I had to have, because no one else knows the password to this account, but the more important thing is that I don’t remember posting it.  Remember back when I said I didn’t have a split personality?  Well that’s evidently not true anymore.

I don’t know what’s going on, but you can’t trust me any more.  Well, you can trust me, but you can’t trust the other me.  I’m not going to be meeting up with any of you, because I don’t know exactly how this split personality thing works yet, and more importantly, I don’t know what would trigger it.  I can’t risk hurting any of you.  I’ll see if I can get advice through yet, but if you need help, I’m sorry, but you’re on your own.

I’m dangerous now.  Stay the fuck away from me.

Jekyll (since I’m evidently going to have to let you know it’s me from now on)

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Untitled 2


Oh, hello again, my friends.  I’m terribly sorry…I didn’t hear you come in.

As I have said, I have returned from my little…excursion.  But fear not, for I am quite well!  I took some time to think things over, and have had quite the change of heart.  Perhaps, much as it pains me to say it, Morningstar is right.  Perhaps I am not a worthy successor to M.  Will is safe, yes, but what happened to him could have just as easily happened to anyone.  It could happen again.  In fact, it is happening, in many different places, even as we speak.  Robert was correct: I need to take action and actually help out some.

I would absolutely love to enter into a less reluctant fellowship with all of you.  Perhaps we could even meet up at some point and travel together.

I know that I’ve been…well, I’ve been rude in the past, to put it mildly.  A loner.  Refusing to associate with anyone.  Well, since I’m considering relinquishing my claim as M’s successor, I may as well drop the “Hermit” act that comes with it.  My friends, this is the beginning of a new me.  A new, eager, enthusiastic me.

It will be an absolute honor serving with you all.

Well, would you look at the time?  Regrettably, I really must be off!  However, I look forward to your response with eager anticipation.

Sincerely yours,