Saturday, February 26, 2011

Really starting to worry


I don’t know how much longer I can do this.  It’s been…again, I don’t know.  Hours?  Days?  Maybe even minutes.  I don’t know, because the clock still keeps telling me 5:55.  Fuck you, clock.  I know it’s not 5:55 anymore.  I don’t care what you say.

Everything’s still busy when I try calling it, by the way.

So I’ve been thinking more about my theories in my last post, and I’m going to lean to two of the three options.  One is that it’s all in my head.  The Slender Man’s just making me go around in circles in my dorm.  Or even better, I’m “asleep” and I just think I’m going around in my dorm.  Why would he do that?  Well, to break me, for one thing.  If not that, it’s maybe because he doesn’t want me to leave.

The other option is that it’s on another plane of reality or something.  I’ve been warped to a mock version of the dorm.  That’s another option, I suppose, and it works just as well.  The same reasons apply.

Heh.  Guess I must be a legitimate threat or something now.  Or maybe he just wants to break me.  But that still implies that I’m a threat.  I’m flattered, really.

Well.  One good thing about this is that I’ve had enough time to sit down and get all my homework done.  I’ve had plenty of spare time.  On the other hand, maybe I’ve already missed the deadline for all my homework.  I don’t know how long I’ve been here, after all.

*sigh*  I don’t know if I can do this anymore.  I’m close to breaking.  I’m looking at the comments, but they don’t make sense.  It’s like you guys are being cryptic or something, or reading a completely different post than I am.  Either way, your help isn’t getting through to me.  Unless you’re not trying to help and this is just payback for me being such an ass.  In which case, I’m even more alone.

Trying to read those comments you guys left me back on Valentine’s Day again.  The ones where I had the breakdown and you all said you were there for me.  I can’t.  The page isn’t loading.  “Can’t let you view that, Firefox,” says Wolf.

…nope.  That didn’t cheer me up.  Fuck, guys, I’m just about crying.  I don’t want this to be crying.  I know that means that he’s breaking me.  I can’t let him beat me.  If I’m trying to be M’s successor, if I’m trying to make things up to Robert, if I’m trying to prove to all of you that I’m not really as big of a jerk as I come across….

Fuck.  I can’t let him do this to me.  Mentally strong, Jekyll.  Mentally strong.  Let’s see…Psalm 23, that should do the trick.  I’ve mentioned before that I’m Christian, I believe.  I think I’ve also mentioned that I’m probably not a particularly good one.  I don’t care if you don’t believe in God.  Just don’t get all pissed about it.  Don’t ask how I can believe in angels when I’m dealing with a demon.

Right, Psalm 23. 

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for thou art with me, thy rod and thy staff, they comfort me….

Well…I dunno.  Hopefully I can get out of here.  I’ll keep you updated.


  1. Are you okay? Have you noticed the weirdness with the comments?